Exploring #6-10 a bit more

To explore #6-10 little more. Question for more insight posed by Karen at WA

K: I'd take this a little further. How do you feel about being alone? Does it make you anxious? Do you feel the need to fill the silence? Do you only like alone time with yourself when you are DOING something? I'd recommend digging a little deeper into the neutrality of enjoying your own company.

I am OK the majority of the time being along. I can easily sit with music and candles and just let my mind meander. The only time I really feel anxious is if I feel there are things to do but there are always things to do so I can pretty easily (honestly) put that aside for awhile at least. I love to lie on my bed in the summer with the window open and just listen to the sounds outside. I love to sit outside in the big field where I take my dog and watch her bound about in joyfull dogness. So I do think I really am Ok at being with myself.

K: It sounds like you might think that you have to have accomplishments to contribute to the world. Can you think of ways you can contribute but not necessarily accomplish? Can you think of people who have contributed in less tangible ways? Who do you want to BE?

The short answer is I want to BE a happy person. I want to do more vounteer work with animals working for a dog resuce or shelter. But that is contributing and accomplishing at the same time. I am giving of myself but helping the animals is an accomplishment as well. I want to BE well read. I want to BE at ease in my own body. I guess I am having a hard time understanding what you mean when you talk about contributing in non tangible ways.

At one point for about a year I found great peace in attending Buddist studies. However I attacked it with so much zeal and overinvolvement that I eventually burnt out and left the classes. I remember that being a challenging time in my life but I also remembering feeling great peace whenever I was at the Buddhist hosue/temple and around the people there. I am still wondering if I should go back or if my real spirtuality lies in the Christian realm