Failure Defined Part II

People, my parents, friends and husband know I am struggling with all of this and have said over and over many of the things you have said to me. That I "Am not a failure", "you only fail if you don't learn from your mistakes", "you only fail when you stop trying" etc. etc.

One way I feel like I failed my parents is that I married a man who loves me, supports me, is my place of safety in this world and would I truely believe die for me but he smokes pot occassionally. I know they would HIGHLY disapprove of this.

I know because he used to smoke a lot more. I threatened to leave him and now for years he is only an occassional user. I am scared shitliss as I write this and I am not sure why. I have a strong sense of unease and anxiety. It doesn't bother me that he smokes , he knows my boundaries around it. (can't interfere with our finances, never when he is driving etc.) In fact it would not be an issue if I knew my parents would not be disappointed in me if they found out. Are my apron strings to my parents approval tied too tightly?

Hmm that kind of came out of left field.

>>>>Change your expectations.<<<< This is the key to much of my unhappiness I think. I feel like I need more in my life all the time and then when I get it. "What's next" becomes the immediate question.