The start of a searching and fearless inventory # 6-10
Step 4: The start of a searching and fearless inventory about me and my attitudes and Beliefs about Workaholism.
For getting the most out of this inventory, we suggest writing your responses. Include everything that arises, and be as honest as possible. Do it in several sittings. Another way to do this inventory is with your group, discussing a few questions at a time. Be prepared to process feelings that may come up.
Warning: they may be overwhelming.
Questions 6-10
6. Do I enjoy my own company?
Honestly, not particularly but then again I don't NOT enjoy it either. I do love alone time with myself. I usually read, watch a movie, walk the dog or what else I am on the computer.
7. Do people often remind me to slow down and take it easy?
Yes quite often. Quite often my reply is "I can't". X,Y, Z has to be done. It has been easier the last week or so because I am not in a frenzy at work. When I get into overdrive mode in one area of my life it always crosses over to other areas and I find it impossible to "detach" and wind down. I go to yoga which helps. One thing I noticed at yoga is that the guided meditation part of the class really works for me. When I sit at home, with candles lit and quiet music I cannot get my mind to slow down but guided mediation gives me something to focus on and that seems to slow me down more.
8. Do I frequently think "Is this all there is?" Am I beginning to resent being a drudge?
Is this all there is? What is next? I often wonder what if nothing else major happens in my life? What if I don't ever own a home? What if I never figure out what I want to do about having children? Who will I be if I do not accomplish these things? What else can I accomplish? Should I be accomplishing. Yes, so it sounds like I base my worth on accomplishments but really what else is there. To just exist in the world does not seem significant enough to me.
Yes I resent being a drudge. I hate sounding redundant about all of this. I hate "carrying it" all around with me all the time. I know I need to turn it all over to my HP but then what? Sit and wait for some divine sign? I feel like I am resisting something as I write this. Resisting something about the program or my belief in it. Perhaps I have not totally surrendered. Do people who succeed still have days of resistance?
9. Are the people in my life enabling my workaholism?
I thank god my husband is who he is and is very laid back and understanding. BUT I wonder if he is unknowingly enabling my workaholism. His mottos is "I just want you to be happy." To this end if I "have" to work late or come home in a heap of stress -he takes care of everything else. Always. I can't complain not when so many people have distant, abusive or less than supportive husbands. I am not sure how to go with this. His help is all very well intended and I do not want to give him the impression that I do not appreciate it. I do honestly make a sincere effort to pull my weight and do my share of the chores around the house because I don't ever want him to feel that I am taking advantage of him.
10. When was the last time I had a physical check-up?
Luckily this is one area that I am very good at. To some extent it might be due to my diabetes and needing to check in with my doctor every 3 months but I have always been good about getting my annual physical and regular screening tests. The ironic thing is my physical health (other than diabetes) has always been good. BUT it is my mental emotional health that has needed constant tending to and since I started on anxiety and depression medication I am diligent about checking in and tending to my appointments there as well.
I would like to be seeing a therapist regualrly but I have been searching for one that is on my insurance that I "click" with around these areas or workaholism, fear of failure and desire for acceptance.
For getting the most out of this inventory, we suggest writing your responses. Include everything that arises, and be as honest as possible. Do it in several sittings. Another way to do this inventory is with your group, discussing a few questions at a time. Be prepared to process feelings that may come up.
Warning: they may be overwhelming.
Questions 6-10
6. Do I enjoy my own company?
Honestly, not particularly but then again I don't NOT enjoy it either. I do love alone time with myself. I usually read, watch a movie, walk the dog or what else I am on the computer.
7. Do people often remind me to slow down and take it easy?
Yes quite often. Quite often my reply is "I can't". X,Y, Z has to be done. It has been easier the last week or so because I am not in a frenzy at work. When I get into overdrive mode in one area of my life it always crosses over to other areas and I find it impossible to "detach" and wind down. I go to yoga which helps. One thing I noticed at yoga is that the guided meditation part of the class really works for me. When I sit at home, with candles lit and quiet music I cannot get my mind to slow down but guided mediation gives me something to focus on and that seems to slow me down more.
8. Do I frequently think "Is this all there is?" Am I beginning to resent being a drudge?
Is this all there is? What is next? I often wonder what if nothing else major happens in my life? What if I don't ever own a home? What if I never figure out what I want to do about having children? Who will I be if I do not accomplish these things? What else can I accomplish? Should I be accomplishing. Yes, so it sounds like I base my worth on accomplishments but really what else is there. To just exist in the world does not seem significant enough to me.
Yes I resent being a drudge. I hate sounding redundant about all of this. I hate "carrying it" all around with me all the time. I know I need to turn it all over to my HP but then what? Sit and wait for some divine sign? I feel like I am resisting something as I write this. Resisting something about the program or my belief in it. Perhaps I have not totally surrendered. Do people who succeed still have days of resistance?
9. Are the people in my life enabling my workaholism?
I thank god my husband is who he is and is very laid back and understanding. BUT I wonder if he is unknowingly enabling my workaholism. His mottos is "I just want you to be happy." To this end if I "have" to work late or come home in a heap of stress -he takes care of everything else. Always. I can't complain not when so many people have distant, abusive or less than supportive husbands. I am not sure how to go with this. His help is all very well intended and I do not want to give him the impression that I do not appreciate it. I do honestly make a sincere effort to pull my weight and do my share of the chores around the house because I don't ever want him to feel that I am taking advantage of him.
10. When was the last time I had a physical check-up?
Luckily this is one area that I am very good at. To some extent it might be due to my diabetes and needing to check in with my doctor every 3 months but I have always been good about getting my annual physical and regular screening tests. The ironic thing is my physical health (other than diabetes) has always been good. BUT it is my mental emotional health that has needed constant tending to and since I started on anxiety and depression medication I am diligent about checking in and tending to my appointments there as well.
I would like to be seeing a therapist regualrly but I have been searching for one that is on my insurance that I "click" with around these areas or workaholism, fear of failure and desire for acceptance.
posted by justme @ 12:36 PM
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