More thoughts on working, success, addiction to work

I do not think that a person has to be all person A and B as someone listed them as needing to be mututally exclusive in all areas (this came from someone who posted on the WA boards).

I do think people can have a balanced, connected, calm, patient, humble, giving, lives in the here and now AND also be intelligent, successful (rememeber it is HOW you define success) and accomplished (again it is all in the definition I feel accomplished if I stretch meditate and do my yoga 3x a week). Maybe the person who posted it did not literally mean that it HAS to be all one or the other but it was something that popped out at me; especially when it comes to intelligence.

In fact, once you get past a family income of $50,000 per year annually, there's a slight statistical trend toward unhappiness - this was in an article on "Happiness" in Time magazine a while back. I also got this fact from my therapist.

I would debtate this to a point. While I agree money does not equal happiness, not having enought cover bills or debt can equal unhappiness If you have a lot of debt (student loans, consolidation loans etc) and owe over $15,000 a year towards this debt. I would be happier with more money - not to buy more but to get out of debt. Being in debt makes me sad, depressed and more down on myself than almost anything else.

Are you running toward additional accomplishments, or running from failure?

Away from failure.

What happens if you stopped bein successful? What would you lose?

Pride in myself and ..... have to think about this more.

Are you afraid of becoming poor?

YES!

Of being rejected?

No not really. I know my family and my close friends love me and that has always gotten me through. Sure it stings when a work thing doesn't work out but it by no means sinks me.

Of becoming ordinary?

I am ordinary and I am ok with that! In fact I kind of like it. It is comfy.

Do my parents care if I am accomplished or not?

My parents motto has always been as long as I am happy that is the best gift I could give them. They do believe and have always instilled in me that I should be able to support myself (any illness or hardship withstanding)and be a contributing member of society. Beyond that what I have or do if it makes me happy they are happy and proud of me

Do my kids care if I am accomplished or not?

Don't have any at the moment or maybe will not. This is a major point for me - will not having kids make me less somehow. This is a biogger topic than I want to get into here and now

Does my Dog care if I am accomplished or not?

Hell she ADORES me and keeps me sane. THere is a quote that I have in my cube at work "My goal in life is to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am". I love that.

These are points that I found very helpful to chew on for today.

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Someone then responded to my post and asked the following questions

Did you grow up with a threat of being poor? What does being poor mean to you?

NO I did not grow up with teh threat of being poor in the least bit. We (my brother and I) were always well provided for and had toys and clothes and such that we wanted. My parents were very fair with money and we earned an allowance for household chores.

For me this stems (I think from post college). My parents paid for my undergraduate college education (I am so lucky for that). It is my own fault that I racked up so much debt over the years from 22-28/29 when I finally declared personal bankruptcy. Now I still have my gradutate student loans, my husband has his student loan and my
husband and I have 2 car payments and lowish credit card debt with a consolidation loan we had to take out post his college.

I realize that all of this is "normal" and that millions of Americans live in much deeper debt than I have. But I hate it. And we are pretty much week to weekers with our checks because of it. We are trying to do the right thing, put our student loans on hold to pay down other debt etc. But it still scares me that I will never
get out of this pattern.

I have at times taken on 2nd jobs but don't feel that would be the right choice for me at this time in my recovery. I do babysit one day a week for 2 hours - heck it gives me gas money.

As I write this I realize that I said I was afraid of being poor. I am well above the poverty line.

I guess what I fear is being financially unstable forever; I am not poor financially. I have always been able to earn a living and have a job so the chances of me being POOR are slim.

I need to work on my financial stibility and spending habits but thank you for questioning this and making me see that worrying about being poor is probably not where I need to spend my energy.